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What is your favorite nerd joke?

I was looking at some other forums and this kept popping up. I think it is about time that we show we are funnier than the rest of the net!

I want to see you post any kind of joke related to movies, comics, all the stuff we adore!

Best Answers

  • DoctorDoomDoctorDoom Posts: 2,586
    edited May 2012 Answer ✓
    From Kevin Bacon's Hollow Man. (Not for the kiddies!)
    Superman's flying around Metropolis and he's horny as hell. He's checking out the rooftops and all of a sudden he sees Wonder Woman sunning herself on the roof of the Justice League. I mean she is lying there buck naked and spread eagle. Looks like she wants to get fucked right? So Superman starts thinking to himself, "Man I gotta get myself some of that wonderpussy." and then he realizes that he can fly down, do a little fast pumping and be gone before she even sees him. Because he's Superman. he's faster than a speeding bullet, right? So Superman, he swoops down, he fucks her so quick, she doesn't even see him. Wonder Woman sits up and says, "What the fuck was that?" and The Invisible Man says "I don't know but my asshole is killing me."
  • DoctorDoomDoctorDoom Posts: 2,586
    Answer ✓
    I guess this is cheating, but I tell this joke to people all of the time, with a certain comic in the back of my mind. (Obviously not exactly as it's written below)


    See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!
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Answers

  • John_SteedJohn_Steed Posts: 2,087
    Why do true nerds so often confuse Halloween with Christmas?
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    Because: Dec25 = Oct31

    :D
  • TorchsongTorchsong Posts: 2,794
    Polar bear and an aardvark are taking a bath together. Polar bear says "Hey, can you pass the soap?" and aardvark says "What do you think I am, a radio?"
  • John_SteedJohn_Steed Posts: 2,087
    Wanna know what's a joke?

    Getting disliked for posting one

    8-}
    I think it is about time that we show we are funnier than the rest of the net!
    Sorry, @MikeGallagher looks like we're failing this one......

  • WetRatsWetRats Posts: 6,314
    Wanna know what's a joke?

    Getting disliked for posting one

    8-}
    It's not you they disliked, it was your joke. (Which I liked, BTW)
    I think it is about time that we show we are funnier than the rest of the net!
    Sorry, @MikeGallagher looks like we're failing this one......
    Now that's funny!
  • bustybusty Posts: 104
    Don't consider myself a nerd,I'm a intelligent woman who likes comics.
  • KyleMoyerKyleMoyer Posts: 727
    Why do true nerds so often confuse Halloween with Christmas?
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    Because: Dec25 = Oct31

    :D
    Polar bear and an aardvark are taking a bath together. Polar bear says "Hey, can you pass the soap?" and aardvark says "What do you think I am, a radio?"
    Do I lose geek points if I admit that I don't get either of those?
  • KyleMoyerKyleMoyer Posts: 727
    BTW: Whoever disliked the Battle Royale with Cheese joke needs a Humor Implant. That was funny as hell, and a perfect example of the Nerd Joke. It cross-referenced two different pop-culture phenomena* and was snarky about one of them.


    *doo doo doo-doo-doo
    I'm guessing the people who clicked dislike on that one did so for one of two reasons.
    1. They liked The Hunger Games. I liked it too (only saw the movie, haven't read the book), but I still found it funny. I have no problem with humor criticizing things I like so I can't go along with this reason.
    2. They already heard the joke 872 times already. This one I can sympathize with a little bit more.
  • TorchsongTorchsong Posts: 2,794
    Kyle, I'd worry more if you DID get mine. It was a nonsense joke my friends and I used to tell each other when we were growing up. Two of us I know grew up nerds...I think the other two probably went on to lead normal, productive lives. Poor bastards. :)
  • KyleMoyerKyleMoyer Posts: 727
    Kyle, I'd worry more if you DID get mine. It was a nonsense joke my friends and I used to tell each other when we were growing up. Two of us I know grew up nerds...I think the other two probably went on to lead normal, productive lives. Poor bastards. :)
    Ahhh... now it makes sense. I've know my share of those, but with the topic of "nerd jokes," I thought there was something nerdy in that one that I completely missed.
  • WetRatsWetRats Posts: 6,314
    edited May 2012
    @John_Steed: Apparently someone dislikes you giving me a virtual hug.

    Think they're jealous?

    :-??

    Somebody disliked @Torchsong's absurdist joke, too, so we're in good company.

    I can understand disliking the rape joke. Hell, I disliked the rape joke. (Sorry, Doom) But polar bears & aardvarks? What's not to like?
  • KrescanKrescan Posts: 623
    A man and a little boy were walking through the woods and it was starting to get dark. The little boy looks up to the man and says "boy it sure is getting dark, I'm starting to get scared." The man replies, "you think you're scared, I'm the one that has to walk out of these woods alone."

    Sadly when I try to think of jokes that's the only one that comes to mind.

    And in case you thought I wasn't paying attention to the topic, it's nerdy because it's a math joke 8-}
  • John_SteedJohn_Steed Posts: 2,087
    edited May 2012
    Why do true nerds so often confuse Halloween with Christmas?

    Because: Dec25 = Oct31

    :D
    Explanation:

    25 in decimal is equal to 31 in octal

    decimal digits (decimus = 10) : 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9- 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19- 20 21 22 23 24 25

    octal digits (octo = 8 ) : 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7- 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17- 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27- 30 31

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decimal
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octal

    :-B
  • DoctorDoomDoctorDoom Posts: 2,586
    edited May 2012
    @John_Steed: Apparently someone dislikes you giving me a virtual hug.

    Think they're jealous?

    :-??

    Somebody disliked @Torchsong's absurdist joke, too, so we're in good company.

    I can understand disliking the rape joke. Hell, I disliked the rape joke. (Sorry, Doom) But polar bears & aardvarks? What's not to like?
    No need to apologize, @Wetrats. It certainly isn't for everyone, and the subject matter is distasteful.

    But honestly, it was the first thing that came to mind. And I have told that joke in the past, as it has been ingrained into me.

    I blame Kevin Bacon's skinless penis. (Those of you who have seen Hollow Man will get it)
  • MikeGallagherMikeGallagher Posts: 547
    Can we have more jokes and less apologies please?
    Hokey smoke people this was meant to be fun! :)) :) :^o :-j \:D/ 8-} :-B ;;) :D :P
  • KyleMoyerKyleMoyer Posts: 727
    Sorry for the apologies.
  • CalibanCaliban Posts: 1,358
    If I had a penny for every time someone told me I have obsessive compulsive disorder I would have £11.63 by now.
  • My dick is so big YouTube requires it to be broken up into parts....

    If only!

  • CalibanCaliban Posts: 1,358
    http://bit.ly/KNCWik

    Caution: walking instructions in Google maps are in beta
  • MikeGallagherMikeGallagher Posts: 547
    Rorschach: I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

  • MikeGallagherMikeGallagher Posts: 547
    Even though, you know, your mom's so fat, that her patronus is a cake.
  • MikeGallagherMikeGallagher Posts: 547
    Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF
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