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lamest mutant ability in the x-men universe?

tonywwttonywwt Posts: 2
edited October 2014 in Comics Talk Community - The On Topic Forum
Hey, so I did this parody of the x-men "If the X-men were more realistic" and it got me thinking about the lamest mutant abilities in the x-men comics. So which do you think are the lamest mutant "powers"? I have longneck, ugly john and cypher within my list.
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    random73random73 Posts: 2,318
    Legion of Superheroes: Arm Fall Off Boy

    Also Mur Lafferty wrote a great little novel called Playing for Keepsabout Keepsie's Bar. The Bar is populated exclusively with 3-4th tier mutants. The waitress has hypernatural sense of balance. the cook always knows how to prepare exactly what you want even if you don't know what it is. Keepsie, the owner, has an interesting ablility: she can never be stolen from. You can never take from her something that is hers.
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    random73random73 Posts: 2,318
    but if we're sticking to the X-Men (sorry about that) Doug Ramsay.
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    TheOriginalGManTheOriginalGMan Posts: 1,763
    Personally speaking, my superpower is the ability to maximize the amount of trunk space of my car when packing all of my family's crap when we go on vacation.

    All things being equal, it's still better than "Arm Fall Off Boy."
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    TorchsongTorchsong Posts: 2,794
    Maggott, maybe?
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    random73random73 Posts: 2,318
    TheOriginalGMan said:

    Personally speaking, my superpower is the ability to maximize the amount of trunk space of my car when packing all of my family's crap when we go on vacation.

    All things being equal, it's still better than "Arm Fall Off Boy."

    So you go by the superhero name Tetris. Big T on your chest, cape...
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    TheOriginalGManTheOriginalGMan Posts: 1,763
    I do now. I originally went by "Mr. Packer." But then Bart Starr filed suit and, well, it became a whole legal thing.
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    HexHex Posts: 944
    Torchsong said:

    Maggott, maybe?

    beat me to it. I'de also nominate Beak.


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    RedRight88RedRight88 Posts: 2,207
    Artie; that's the one who speaks in pictures right?
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    MihawkMihawk Posts: 433
    I think being an Elephant head man is pretty lame.
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    fredzillafredzilla Posts: 2,131
    Wolverine. I mean, who would want to be everywhere at once? Really.
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    MihawkMihawk Posts: 433
    fredzilla said:

    Wolverine. I mean, who would want to be everywhere at once? Really.

    Lol that's not his power I don't know if your being sarcastic or not? But his actually power is one of the best.
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    Evening639Evening639 Posts: 368
    Cypher's ability isn't lame. It's actually one of the most useful abilities in the X-Men comics. The various teams consistently travel to other countries, other planets, run afoul of the government and/or need access to government files and use alien technology. Having a living universal translator and expert computer hacker on your team is downright necessary.

    The problem with Doug is that writers never knew what to do with him because he was weaker than the other members and didn't possess their fighting skills or offensive mutant abilities. I challenge that by simply saying, THAT'S WHY HE'S ON A TEAM.

    As far as my own pick for lamest mutant ability, I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Adam X so far. Was his baseball cap a secondary mutation?
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    fredzillafredzilla Posts: 2,131
    edited October 2014
    Mihawk said:

    fredzilla said:

    Wolverine. I mean, who would want to be everywhere at once? Really.

    Lol that's not his power I don't know if your being sarcastic or not? But his actually power is one of the best.
    I was being sarcastic. For a time there Wolverine was in nearly every Marvel book and attached to nearly every team in the Marvel U. Easy to mistake his mutant power for omnipresence. :)
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    CageNarleighCageNarleigh Posts: 729
    Skin

    image
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    random73random73 Posts: 2,318
    Evening639 said:

    Cypher's ability isn't lame. It's actually one of the most useful abilities in the X-Men comics. The various teams consistently travel to other countries, other planets, run afoul of the government and/or need access to government files and use alien technology. Having a living universal translator and expert computer hacker on your team is downright necessary.

    The problem with Doug is that writers never knew what to do with him because he was weaker than the other members and didn't possess their fighting skills or offensive mutant abilities. I challenge that by simply saying, THAT'S WHY HE'S ON A TEAM.

    As far as my own pick for lamest mutant ability, I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Adam X so far. Was his baseball cap a secondary mutation?

    its an opinion question. I think its lame.
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    TorchsongTorchsong Posts: 2,794
    I think it was lame in the 80s when we didn't have the vast networks and connectivity we enjoy today. Cypher in today's books would have been a huge asset - never seeing battle, but functioning as an Oracle type character. Doug was just ahead of his time, I suppose.
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    Mr_CosmicMr_Cosmic Posts: 3,200
    edited October 2014
    Even though the character cracks me up I'd have to go with Goldballs.
    Fabio's powers manifested by the popping of gold balls of different sizes from any part of his body and clothes, emitting the sound "Poink" each time they hit something. The balls seem to be able to bounce.
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    AxelBrassAxelBrass Posts: 245
    Mr_Cosmic said:

    Even though the character cracks me up I'd have to go with Goldballs.

    Fabio's powers manifested by the popping of gold balls of different sizes from any part of his body and clothes, emitting the sound "Poink" each time they hit something. The balls seem to be able to bounce.
    Lame power but great name!
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    bamfbamfbamfbamf Posts: 718
    i didnt believe you until i google'd it

    image
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    bamfbamfbamfbamf Posts: 718
    edited October 2014
    this is a decent list

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/perpetua/94-x-men-members-ranked-from-worst-to-best

    image
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    BrackBrack Posts: 868
    bamfbamf said:

    this is a decent list

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/perpetua/94-x-men-members-ranked-from-worst-to-best

    Boy, someone didn't like Jason Aaron's Wolverine & The X-Men.

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    shroud68shroud68 Posts: 457
    bamfbamf said:

    this is a decent list

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/perpetua/94-x-men-members-ranked-from-worst-to-best

    image

    I rather enjoyed that list. Seemed well reasoned with a good thought to the scope of time X-Men have been around.

    And I suppose the power is only as good as the wielder but Goldballs may be written well now but c'mon.............. Goldballs. How arbitrary.

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    tonywwttonywwt Posts: 2
    Mr_Cosmic said:

    Even though the character cracks me up I'd have to go with Goldballs.

    Fabio's powers manifested by the popping of gold balls of different sizes from any part of his body and clothes, emitting the sound "Poink" each time they hit something. The balls seem to be able to bounce.
    hahaha wait, but what are the balls made of exactly, like tissue of his body?
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    MattMatt Posts: 4,457
    edited October 2014
    tonywwt said:

    Mr_Cosmic said:

    Even though the character cracks me up I'd have to go with Goldballs.

    Fabio's powers manifested by the popping of gold balls of different sizes from any part of his body and clothes, emitting the sound "Poink" each time they hit something. The balls seem to be able to bounce.
    hahaha wait, but what are the balls made of exactly, like tissue of his body?

    Bubbles filled with urine.

    M
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    DoctorDoomDoctorDoom Posts: 2,586
    Torchsong said:

    I think it was lame in the 80s when we didn't have the vast networks and connectivity we enjoy today. Cypher in today's books would have been a huge asset - never seeing battle, but functioning as an Oracle type character. Doug was just ahead of his time, I suppose.

    When he returned in the last New Mutants series, they updated his ability to being able to also ready body language, and thus being able to dodge and counter-attack.
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    Chuck_MelvilleChuck_Melville Posts: 3,003
    random73 said:

    Evening639 said:

    Cypher's ability isn't lame. It's actually one of the most useful abilities in the X-Men comics. The various teams consistently travel to other countries, other planets, run afoul of the government and/or need access to government files and use alien technology. Having a living universal translator and expert computer hacker on your team is downright necessary.

    The problem with Doug is that writers never knew what to do with him because he was weaker than the other members and didn't possess their fighting skills or offensive mutant abilities. I challenge that by simply saying, THAT'S WHY HE'S ON A TEAM.

    As far as my own pick for lamest mutant ability, I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Adam X so far. Was his baseball cap a secondary mutation?

    its an opinion question. I think its lame.
    I never thought it was lame, not then and not now. It was subtle, which was another thing entirely, and certainly not suitable for combat. But it had a strategic value. The mistake they made was allowing him into combat situations, which was at least partially alieved by pairing him with Warlock. He should have been more involved in clean-up and intelligence gathering operations. But… kids, you know?
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    Evening639Evening639 Posts: 368
    What about Team America? Is their gestalt mutant power lame or awesome? Or both?
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    HexHex Posts: 944
    Evening639 said:

    What about Team America? Is their gestalt mutant power lame or awesome? Or both?

    Team America = AWESOME
    Thunderiders = meh.
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